I know I promised a post.
Ack I'm sorry, I've just met one of the roughest stretch of road of my life. Honestly. It's filled with shards of glass and tiny rocks- every step hurts even as I tread with caution. The skies are so dark that it's impossible to know where I'm heading to. Although I try my best to avoid the glass, but the tiny rocks are unavoidable; I just have to hang on and walk through it. As reality starts to sink in, I cried at every single thought. It just can't be happening, but it is.There's only many sleepless and restless nights to come and too much self-reflection to be done.
I've tried. Tried to find that courage and defiance within but it's just not possible. As days pass one by one, I start doubting myself and abilities. All the uncertainty and ambiguity will kill me. It's gonna be like this until I get an answer. I've done it harder, better but it's not showing.Where exactly have I gone wrong here?

God, please please help. Please help me get the answer I desperately need while I prepare for the worst. It's either gonna be a make or break.


Last week, another piece of bad News came: Max passed away from a joint infection. RIP little one, I really don't know if I brought you joy or just plain suffering. :(

At the end of the day, I still come back to this tiny space. Such post is more meant for LJ, I believe.